17 April 2010

It ain't happnen

Yes, I know. The teacher in me is screaming, “You shouldn't say that!!!” But I just did. So there.

And it really isn’t happening. We’re not going to Mexico. In fact, last week was the week we “should” have been there. But knowing and understanding very well that our thoughts and plans and timing aren’t always God’s, we let it rest.

The needs at the orphanage changed from what we’d anticipated earlier on in the planning stages. And then the team we were working with slowly disintegrated. Not in a bad way. God just directed people to do different things.

And so we wait. But we’re not waiting and sitting on our hands. Passport forms for the entire family are filled out, pictures taken, waiting on my desk for a day to take them in (so someone can look at our kids and verify that indeed they are our children).

Getting passports for the kids is like preparing for rain. There are no trips planned. There clearly isn’t money to galavant off across the planet. No one has invited us to join them in what God is doing on the other side of the world. But it’s ok!

God knows where we live! And He is working right here. There are absolutely BEAUTIFUL things He is doing in our family. We are growing in grace and love and understanding. We are learning things about how He wants us to live.

In the last 5 years there have been several attempts to involve our family in overseas missions. Some we have pursued. Others have been invitations that have come to us. And every time, God closes the door. Every time.

I’ve asked “why” more times than I can count. I’ve looked for answers for why I even have the desire to go in the first place. What on earth is God up to?

God knows. We’re in a good place. We’re part of an incredible church! We have amazing friends! We’re dreaming about the places God wants to take us as a congregation of believers.

Thanks for being part of our circle of friends. Friends who ask what God is doing, who care about where we are, who are excited with us about our journey with Jesus.

And for now, overseas ain’t happnen.

5 comments:

Angie Davis said...

It's a door we have wished and prayed that God would open here too. Hasn't been His plan for us either. Waiting patiently on His plans, because I know they're much, much better than mine...

Making Memories 1999 said...

So thankful that our Abba knows the desires of our hearts...and HE cares!! Trusting HIS will will be worked out beautifully in your precious family!

Rhonda said...

oh Carol! my heart just dropped as i started reading this...as just the other day i was thinking that you must be getting so excited to go. i certainly have no "magic" words to offer you, but i just read again today that those who sow in tears WILL reap with shouts of joy. i'll pray for you today. love you.

iris said...

I've been thinking of you too and wondering where things stand. Feeling a little sad for your disappointment.

But I'm happy that you blogged....I've missed you!

Sarah Cook said...

Know what it is like to be longing to do mission's work, and the door SLAMS... and, what a slam!!! My hubby's cancer halted ministry pursuits as he fights for his life. We are still dreaming some of the day we can be in ministry... but, it is scary to dream anymore.
Someday...

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