looking around

One year ago my sister and I met and secretively made our way westward to Ohio. Along the way we called Mom from Kris’s phone. Via speakerphone we began taking turns talking to her. At first she couldn’t figure out why she was hearing both of our voices and was a little confused. Why were we together when we live 3 hours apart? Finally we told her we were on our way to her house to celebrate Mother’s Day and her 65th birthday which, last year, fell on the same day. She was delighted!

Mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago and last April discovered that it had metastasized. Because of the cancer in her chest cavity there was fluid buildup on her lungs and breathing was difficult at times. Since these birthday-Mother’s Days only come every few years, we wanted to make sure we didn’t miss our opportunity to celebrate with Mom. And in another year, well, we just didn’t know if Mom would be here. 

Turns out we were right. 2012 was our last year to celebrate with Mom. Nineteen days before Mother’s Day and 20 days before her 66th birthday, Jesus came and ushered Mom into the Next Kingdom. 

So Mother’s Day this year feels just a little strange. Mom isn’t here to love on or send flowers to or even call. Although I did have a dream last night that I could still text her. It was pretty cool. She even texted back. From Heaven. Then I woke up. 

I’m already planning ahead for Mother’s Day this year. I have several good cries already scheduled. Cause I know it will happen. There’s just an empty place when I think about Mom. 

In reality, I feel a little cheated. To my way of thinking, sixty-five was way too young to die. She should still be here. For Dad. For her kids. For her grandchildren. For the women who loved her listening ear and who needed her wisdom. 

But then I remember the evening I was praying for her several months ago. My spirit was crying out to Jesus on her behalf. I began, “Jesus, if you don’t come and heal Mom. . .” Immediately David’s words came: Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. 

And then this thought from the heart of God: He wants my Mama. 

Please don’t hear that lightly. Hear it with intensity. He WANTS my Mama. God deeply desires her. He wants her in His kingdom. 

It was on that night that I knew I needn’t ask for her healing in this lifetime. I knew that God Himself wanted her. Intensely. And so I began asking God, with tears, that His timing would be perfect for her homegoing. 

And He answered so beautifully. She ran to meet Him in her sleep, just like she’d asked Dad to pray for. For her, the Next Kingdom is reality. 

So this Mother’s Day, in between my scheduled cries, I’ll be looking around and forward. Cause I’m a mother too. And Mom wouldn’t want me to cry too much. She’d want me to celebrate motherhood. My own motherhood. The motherhood of the women I love. My daughters. 

Thursday afternoon my girls treated me (and themselves!) to pedicures!! We’ve done things like this with my mom and sister and in other configurations with friends, but never before just us four. It was fun and beautifying and together. I’m choosing to look around. 

When we got home we all went for a walk together and then decided to have an impromptu tea. Fresh sprigs of spearmint tea and bags of rose tea. Papaya. Lemon cake in tiny slices. Cucumber sandwiches. Apple and pear slices. 

We talked. We laughed. We sipped tea. We just enjoyed together. 

As we sat and sipped I suddenly began to really see the dishes in front of me. A white embossed teapot from sister many Christmases ago. Tea cups and saucers, once my grandmothers, given to me by my own mother. A pink plate with a daisy and “Life is good” from my friend Heidi. A simple white plate from Danelle. Delicate Belleek china cream and sugar bowl covered with tiny springs of green clover, carried home from Ireland for me with love from Esther, one of my other sisters. Another white teapot, a gift to Elsa from Nana. 

Dishes that remind me of women I love. Some here, others already in the Next Kingdom. My heart was warm. My eyes were wet. It was a little looking back and a lot looking around and forward. 

Yes, on Mother’s Day I’ll probably look back a little. I won’t be able to keep from it. But mostly I want to look around and forward. 

I want to mostly just look around. I’ll see the man I sometimes call Hobbit: strong, caring, adventurous, loving me so well. I’ll see three ladies: the one who loves to be busy constantly and whose sketches amaze, the one who cares for all things hurting and marches to her own drumbeat, the one who is my shadow some days and other days has to be called away from her books. I’ll see two boys: the one we call the Energizer Bunny who hunts and the one we call Farmer who helps load pigs. This is what is around. And it’s full of goodness and love. 

It’s ok if you look back a little this Mother’s Day, but don’t forget to also look around. Do a lot of looking around. And linger a little. Soak a little. It’s good. 

about girls

It's been so long since I've posted pictures that I forgot how irritating it is that blogger uploads the pictures in exactly the opposite order in which you select them. Nuts. I could complain loudly, but I really don't think anyone would listen.

Our girl's tea time has been seriously falling by the wayside. Daughter 1 wrote me a very sweet note asking if we could have tea again soon. One night while Papa Hobbit was at EMT class, and two smallish Hobbit boys were too tired to stay awake, we girls had tea.

the spread :o)

As you can see, the girls were already in their PJs, so the affair wasn't a particularly elegant one as far as clothing goes, but I'd baked some special bread, and we lit as many candles as we could find so we could turn the lights off and it all came off wonderfully. They love the attention and the chance to just talk girl talk. I usually have a little bit to share (I've been using the study guide for "The princess and the kiss") and then they ask questions and we pray together.

One of the great events of the summer was the baptism of daughter 1 and daughter 2. They were so very excited! Papa Hobbit enjoyed the privilege explaining the whys and wherefores of baptism as their papa and also as their pastor. We've been watching them grow in their maturity as followers of Jesus and are excited to answer questions as they explore the Scriptures for themselves.

And so ends this little post. . . about girls. Hopefully back sooner rather than later.

Girl stuff.

I’m in Ohio for the weekend. My sister came to visit and we traveled back with her. Yesterday was my cousin Kristin’s wedding in Indiana.


And I brought 3 girls with me. It was a girl weekend. Complete with a girl movie (Kit Kittredge), soaks in Nana’s big bathtub and pedicures. Sorry. No pictures. :o)

The girls have loved the weekend. The attention. The wedding. The “girl stuff.” Being with just Mama, Auntie and Nana.

It’s investment time for us. Just being. And loving. Things that care for our hearts. Things that let us relax and be pampered. Things that take us to deeper conversations.

After the wedding we discussed dresses and wedding traditions. The 7 year old’s favorite part is the kissing. And then the 10 year old had something very important to ask. I was expecting something big and deep. Nope. Not this time.

“Why did they have to make the chicken (at the dinner reception) so hot and spicy?”

Me: “So you didn’t finish it?”

Her: “Yes. I ate 2 and a half kabobs. I was trying to make myself get used to it.”

(This is the child that knows of a certainty that God is calling her to be a missionary doctor in India.)

*sigh* Maybe the really deep conversations will happen later. Or maybe not.

Or maybe they’ll come when I least expect them.

For now, the girls are just glad to be with me. They’ve thanked me several times for bringing them along. I translate that as “Thanks for sharing your life. Thanks for sharing these experiences with us. Thanks for loving us enough to share the joyful moments of life with us. Thanks for nurturing us. Thanks for wanting to have us along. Thanks for knowing the things we love and enjoying those things with us.”

I want to love my daughters and love them well.

Tomorrow we travel home where the guys have been shooting BB guns, wrestling and eating food at odd hours.

And we’ll put our family of Hobb(it)s back in the blender and let the whirl of life begin again in the Shire.

Tea for two

Elsa got this sweet, teeny tea set for Christmas. And she wanted so badly for someone to join her for tea. The only one who agreed was Tobin. 

Boys can have tea too.

They don't show up very well here, but that's a male and female cardinal sitting in the pine tree outside my kitchen window. 

the mimic

We're at that stage in childhood when one of the most annoying things you can do to a sibling is to mimic every move they make. 

So tonight at the supper table the 10 year old big sister is mimicing the 5 year old little brother.  I should have seen the danger signs based on the age difference, but I didn't see this one coming. 

He crosses his arms. She crosses hers. He moves his leg. She moves hers. And there it ended. 

She looked over as he moved his hand toward his face. She began to do the same. Then a look of total horror and astonishment came over her face as she watched little brother stick his finger in his nose to search for some unknown treasure. 

She couldn't bring herself to mimic that and burst into laughter. I guess she'd been bitten on this round of "mimic". It might be a while before she tries it again. 

Funny  children! I'm sure I never did anything like that, right Mom?? 

A tea for girls

So, in between supervising two girls making bread (8 loaves total), chatting online with my sister in Alaska, answering the phone, downloading pictures, chasing three younger children to the great outdoors to play. . . I'm blogging. 

One of the dear ladies from church invited the girls and me for tea. She also invited Carol and Becky Kauffman. Becky is just a year older than Emelyne and a good friend to all the girls.

Brenda was our hostess. She created a tea with several courses. We began with chilled strawberry soup and crispy dainties she'd make from bread and flour tortillas. Then we moved on to wee sandwiches and veggies and layered jello salad. The meal finished off with 4 different kinds of scones, Devonshire cream, strawberry and lemon curd, shortbread and of course, tea. Choices for tea were Mint Medley or Constant Comment. 

When we arrived Brenda had the girls draw numbers. Whoever chose #1  got first pick of Brenda's hats to wear for tea. 

We had a lovely time!! 

Sophia clowning around after tea

Elsa took her own hat, one Esther wore in a cousin's wedding several years ago. 

Brenda serving Sophia. . .

Emelyne loves to pose for pictures!!

The other Carol.  And yes, it was highly confusing to have two Carols there! 

Second course goodies!!

Becky with a hat to match her dress.

Somehow, girls and tea just go together. 

Don't try this at home. Unless you're up for adventure.

About a month ago we purchased a Subaru wagon on eBay. Rosie Cotton (Yes, we are one of those strange families who actually name their vehicles. And yes, there is a reason her name is Rosie. She's a beautiful dark red color. I added the Cotton because, well, if you're a fan of LOTR, you'll understand.) Rosie needed a new clutch, but now she's ready to drive. I love to drive a tight little 5 speed, and Rosie fits the bill. 

So, Wednesday afternoon the girls and I were off to Walmart and a few other stops. After one stop I went to shift into reverse in the parking lot and viola, the whole gear shifter came off in my hand. 

First, let me tell you what I did not do. I did not cry. I did not curse. I did not pray. I did not call my husband. I think maybe I should have prayed, but I wasn't worried about anything. And Jesus knew where I was anyway. 

Here is what I saw:

Hmm. 

And here is what I did: I decided I would see if I could actually shift the car while I was still in the parking lot. I figured if it worked, I could just finish my shopping and drive home. If it didn't work, I could always call my darling husband and yell for help. 

It worked. I was thrilled. :o) 

It was kinda fun. 

Don't try this unless you like adventure. 

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering what choice names we have for our other vehicles, I'll tell you. Our green Suburban is called Big Daddy. And Daniel's little Mazda pickup that blows clouds of blue smoke on start up (when there's really nothing in the world wrong with his engine), well, he's called Little Smokie. Little Smokie's up for sale now that we have Rosie Cotton. Any takers?

I'm here! I'm here. I'm. here. I think I'm here. Am I here?

Yes, I really am still alive. But it's summer. And for us, summer means family vacations (sorry, no pics of that coming), and extra ministry trips, and many, many birthdays. 

The last month has held more quaking of the deep places of my heart than I'm ready to share at this point. But maybe soon. . .  For those closest to me, you already know. For those of you who live farther away and would like to know before I'm ready to blog, just send me an email.

Yup. It's me and my best friend. I love nothing more than to be involved in ministry with Daniel. And God opens windows for that along the way. Last week was one of those.

Daniel and I were privileged to be leaders for the Yellow Bus Adventure, a four day, three night "overnight vacation Bible school" held in Gordon, PA and sponsored in part by FHC Ministries, a group pastored by Daniel's dad, Michael Hobbs. Daniel and I led the music, but were also involved in a campfire story (Daniel told the story of Gideon's Pot-- as first recounted by our dear friend Larry Guthrie) and I did morning coach time (devotions) with all the girls. 

YBA is for kid's in grades 2 through 8, so you can imagine the noise, the smells, the attitudes, the enthusiasm, the needs, the attention spans. Need I say more? 

I love YBA. We had a big mix of kids from church and kids from "town". Kids who know all the Bible stories already, and kids who don't. Kids from homes with a mom and a dad. And kids who have no idea where their dad is. It was incredible to send kids home having memorized Scripture, watched the Scripture acted out in a very memorable way and having learned songs that speak the truth of God's word in a way they'll never forget. 

That's me on the left, then Julie Bradford and my sister (in-law) Esther. We were the paparazzi, each with our own SLR camera, shooting anyone close to us. 

Here's William Straight, director of YBA. We worked with an incredible team!! Wow. So much creativity packed into a short time. 

Team colors!! Staff had black shirts this year, the boys team was green, and blue, yellow and red were girl's teams. 

Ready for YBA: duffle bag, sun visor, flashlight and Bible. 

Josh and Will: our faithful computer geeks. :o) Will has a gift for mentoring the young men around him. Josh is one of those. 

Putting motions to songs brings so much joy to the kids, and helps them to remember the songs. One hymn we did was written by Keith Getty: "Hear the call of the Kingdom". Hopefully it will be posted on youtube soon and I can share it. It was incredible!! 50 children singing "Hear the call of the Kingdom, lift your eyes to the King." And then the chorus: "King of Heaven, we will answer the call! We will follow, bringing hope to the world. Filled with passion, filled with power to proclaim salvation in Jesus name." There were times I could hardly sing, it was so overwhelming. 

chow time!!

adventure time!

Afternoon sports time on a soccer field close by. Tristen and I were waiting for the kids to arrive and Daniel grabbed the camera. :o)

Jake: all ready to run the 100 yard dash!!

The girls with some of their "bestest" friends.

Yes. That's me. The kids love to have adults join in the fun, so I was talked into the long jump. Imagine. No. Don't. 

At YBA we use a point system for everything from Scripture memory to good attitudes and our girls were on the winning red team!! 

Saying goodbye was NOT fun. 

Now, on to our first summertime birthday: Tobin turned 5 on June 23. We celebrated with a family from church whose son turned 14 the same day. With a river close by, what better way to celebrate than with a fire, hotdogs, mountain pies, marshmallows, cake and several hours in the river. Most of the time in the river was spent with snorkel masks on looking for "treasures". You know, things like broken dishes, old tire rims, large pieces of discarded, waterlogged rugs, snail shells, broken clocks. 

Tobin, Tyler and Tristen

And lastly, Grandma Showalter has been a caretaker of roses for as long as I can remember. In March she sent me a rosebush from Jackson and Perkins. It's a hybrid tea rose and has bloomed for the first time. I only wish I could include the smell. It's heavenly. 

That's all for now. There is so much more in my heart to write, but I haven't the time. Maybe soon. 

D.C.---Day 3

Last stop: Arlington National Cemetery. And we actually managed to be there on Memorial Day Weekend, which is the only time of the entire year when flags are flown on every grave. Any other day of the year only flowers are allowed.

Daniel and I had each been to Arlington before, and Daniel loves the place, but I'd totally forgotten how impressive the changing of the guard really is. 

The silence is amazing for so many people watching. 

A memorial to those who died in the Space Shuttle Challenger. That was a day I'll never forget. 

Yep. No stroller. Two tired boys. SuperDad!!!

JFK's grave.

But really, the whole point was seeing Kris. Thanks for letting us come visit you while you were visiting D.C. We love you!!