about Grandma

January 1, 2011. Saturday afternoon. Many people were reviewing their New Year's resolutions. My sweet Grandma, Rhoda Showalter, was beginning her "real life" in her new home. She passed from death to life. She traded a worn out body for a new one. She was ninety years old in this life. I find myself wondering what she looks like now.

Following is the tribute that a cousin and my sister read at her funeral. I wrote it after hearing stories and memories of cousins both near and far.

We cousins gathered at the front of the church and stood together for the reading.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Each of us standing here together today have at least one thing in common: Rhoda Showalter was our Grandma. As cousins we’ve compiled numerous memories and thoughts about who Grandma was and the place she occupies in our hearts.

We knew prayer was an active part of Grandma’s life. She prayed for us and she prayed with us. When we’d ask Grandma how she was, she’d reply “The Lord is faithful” or “God is so good.” She was always interested in us and didn’t want general information. She wanted to know the details! There were always hugs and kisses when you arrived and hugs and kisses when you left.

We remember songs sung at bedtime and countless stories read aloud. Walks to the garden. Picking up sticks in the front yard. Picking tea. The horse swing in the basement. Pink “Grandma candies” left under pillows at nap time (to be eaten ONLY after the nap was finished).

Grandma’s roses carefully arranged in a beautiful vase with asparagus ferns. Sledding on Grandpa and Grandma’s big hill whenever there was enough snow to cover the ground. Playing in the creek. All the little empty jars that Grandma kept under the kitchen sink, but gladly shared with us for insects, creek creatures and other treasures. Grandma’s toy collection.

And Grandma’s food: Warm gingerbread with lemon sauce and whipped cream. Raisin filled cookies. Citrus mint tea. Sweet potato casserole. Pulling taffy. Cutting off corn on the cob. Shelling lima beans. Canning pears.

Grandma was once seen wearing a grandson’s basketball shoes around the house. Just because. And Grandma let you put lots of butter on your bread. She’d drizzle the homemade whole wheat bread with honey and cut it up into little squares so you could eat it with a fork. She’d give you apple slices and raisins if you were hungry between meals.

Grandma was genuine. There was nothing hypocritical about her.

She was gracious. She may have felt “out of her element” at times, but you’d never know it.

Grandma was a mentor. She mentored others, but she also mentored us.

We could each stand and talk for hours of the ways that Grandma has influenced our individual walks with the Lord, but the essence of each story would be the same. She followed Jesus and wanted the same for each of us.

To borrow the words of C.S. Lewis, Grandma’s term is ended: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning! For Grandma this is only the beginning of the real story. All her life in this world was only the cover and the title page: now at last she is beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which none of us has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.

Girl stuff.

I’m in Ohio for the weekend. My sister came to visit and we traveled back with her. Yesterday was my cousin Kristin’s wedding in Indiana.


And I brought 3 girls with me. It was a girl weekend. Complete with a girl movie (Kit Kittredge), soaks in Nana’s big bathtub and pedicures. Sorry. No pictures. :o)

The girls have loved the weekend. The attention. The wedding. The “girl stuff.” Being with just Mama, Auntie and Nana.

It’s investment time for us. Just being. And loving. Things that care for our hearts. Things that let us relax and be pampered. Things that take us to deeper conversations.

After the wedding we discussed dresses and wedding traditions. The 7 year old’s favorite part is the kissing. And then the 10 year old had something very important to ask. I was expecting something big and deep. Nope. Not this time.

“Why did they have to make the chicken (at the dinner reception) so hot and spicy?”

Me: “So you didn’t finish it?”

Her: “Yes. I ate 2 and a half kabobs. I was trying to make myself get used to it.”

(This is the child that knows of a certainty that God is calling her to be a missionary doctor in India.)

*sigh* Maybe the really deep conversations will happen later. Or maybe not.

Or maybe they’ll come when I least expect them.

For now, the girls are just glad to be with me. They’ve thanked me several times for bringing them along. I translate that as “Thanks for sharing your life. Thanks for sharing these experiences with us. Thanks for loving us enough to share the joyful moments of life with us. Thanks for nurturing us. Thanks for wanting to have us along. Thanks for knowing the things we love and enjoying those things with us.”

I want to love my daughters and love them well.

Tomorrow we travel home where the guys have been shooting BB guns, wrestling and eating food at odd hours.

And we’ll put our family of Hobb(it)s back in the blender and let the whirl of life begin again in the Shire.

Christmas at Thanksgiving

We celebrated many things at Thanksgiving this year. First off it was Grandpa Showalter's 90th birthday. And it was Thanksgiving Day. The day after Thanksgiving we celebrated Christmas with the Showalters. 

Daniel read the bedtime Scriptures to Grandpa and Grandma. 

Elsa: eager, faithful kitchen helper

Tristen's new favorite person: Lish

Dad and the brothers bonding.

Grandma and my sister, Kristine. 

If you're interested in updates on the Grandparents you may visit kristineshowalter.blogspot.com.

Grandpa with his birthday cake. Aunt Audrey made one of his favorites: black walnut cake with carmel frosting. 

And beyond these few there are so many pictures of uncles, aunties, cousins, play time, food, Christmas gifts, grandparents, silly faces, food, lounging, cousins, food. You get the picture. I needn't post them all. 

Among other things. . .

*sigh* I never intended it to be so long between blog posts. I love blogging. But alas, as I mentioned before, it is summer. And I don't remember a summer quite as "traveled" as this one. Although I guess last summer had it's own unique set of circumstances. Moving a family of 7 who've lived in the same house for 5 years and accumulated lots of "stuff". So, maybe this summer isn't quite so crazy after all. . . 

So far this summer we've enjoyed 

• a trip to D.C., 
• a week of Hobbs family vacation (Daniel's dad, grandmother, sister, brother, sister-in-law, four cousins ages 5 and under. . . plus our family* * * what a wonderful time!!), 
• a 50th wedding anniversary celebration,
• then the Yellow Bus Adventure (see previous post),
  
• a week at home to recover from the comings and goings and celebrate Tobin's birthday
• a week at Beulah Camp in Gordon, Pa. Daniel, Nathan, Esther, Carlee and I did all the music for camp this year, and Dr. Allen Brown was our evangelist. 
• a trip to Ohio for Choral Camp at RBC. Emmy and Sophia LOVED Choral Camp! And since RBC is located only minutes from my parents home, we loved the week with Grandpa and Nana. We've spent some time nearly every day in their pond. I must say that the Hobbits are becoming quite the little fish. Very brown little fish. 

*sigh* So here I am in Ohio. I drove our Suburban from PA to OH last Sunday with 7 children (I brought along 2 girls from Belleville who needed a ride to Choral Camp). 

It's been a whole week without my husband. And I'm over it. These times give me a whole new appreciation for parents who "go it alone" all the time. I'm the one who is responsible for everything. Everything from Scripture reading and prayer in the morning, to tucking in and prayers at night. Keeping track of swimmers in the pond, and little children who forget to close doors and let all the air conditioning outside. Children who struggle with bad attitudes just because the summer has been so much time away from home. And Papa isn't here. 

And so we're staying on at Mom and Dad's house until our church conference begins on Thursday, July 24 in northern Ohio. With gas prices as they are it didn't make much sense to drive all the way home and then back again several days later. Besides, it give the children (and me!!) a chance to spend time with Grandparents. And Greatgrandparents. 

My dad's parents have been living with Mom and Dad for the last several years. With Grandpa and Grandma Showalter's declining health, Mom and Dad have entered the challenging phase of caregiving. They are doing a beautiful job of creating a peaceful, loving, stable environment in which the elders can grow old with dignity. 

This makes coming home to Grandpa and Nana's house an interesting phenomenon. We presently have in this home: 3 adults, 5 children ages three to nine, and 2 very elderly adults who require care. The combination has been very interesting. Hmm. Did I say that already?

Great grandma loves the activity and never wants to miss anything. She loves to listen in on stories that are read. She loves to sit by the patio doors at the back of the house and watch the activity in the pond. She wants to make sure she's not in anyones way. 

Great grandpa likes things quiet. He doesn't hear well and when his hearing aids are turned up he catches all kinds of little sounds the children make. I've had to tell Sophia not to whistle in the house. He is constantly watching the children and reminding them to close the doors, or not to throw balls in the house or something else he sees them doing that he thinks they shouldn't do. 

And so I have to be reminded not to take things personally. And remember that I'm living in a nursing home these weeks. I want the children to be sensitive to the elders, but it has been rather hard to make sure they're always quiet, or not running, or speaking in an inside voice. I know these are very special days with Grandparents who may not be around much longer. I must cherish them while I still have them.

Sorry there aren't any pics to accompany this rambling post. If you reach this point, I congratulate you. You must be one of my very faithful readers! Probably the rest gave up by the end of the first paragraph. 

There are deep thoughts rolling around in my head, but it's too early to blog about them. The last several weeks have been full of a lot of emotion regarding things happening at church and our involvement there. But that's a post for another time. . .

And so, that's my update for now. . . among other things. . .

D.C.---Day 3

Last stop: Arlington National Cemetery. And we actually managed to be there on Memorial Day Weekend, which is the only time of the entire year when flags are flown on every grave. Any other day of the year only flowers are allowed.

Daniel and I had each been to Arlington before, and Daniel loves the place, but I'd totally forgotten how impressive the changing of the guard really is. 

The silence is amazing for so many people watching. 

A memorial to those who died in the Space Shuttle Challenger. That was a day I'll never forget. 

Yep. No stroller. Two tired boys. SuperDad!!!

JFK's grave.

But really, the whole point was seeing Kris. Thanks for letting us come visit you while you were visiting D.C. We love you!!

Tea with Great-Grandma and Nana

Tea time with my girls usually happens once a week. And since we were in Ohio this week, we enjoyed Turkish Tea using Mom's authentic Turkish Tea set she bought in Turkey in 1988. (Was that too much Turkey in one sentence?)

Mom served cinnamon tea from her beautiful china teapot, and we dropped cinnamon red hots in our cups to intensify the flavor. 

Great Grandma Showalter surrounded by Elsa, Emelyne, Carol and Sophia after tea time. 

Tea time was hosted by Mom (or Nana, depending on who you are). 

I asked Grandma if she had any words of wisdom to share with my girls. Here is what she said:

"First of all, obey your parents. Also read your Bible. Get to know Jesus."

It was special. Grandma is holding her own right now, but in her mid-eighties, her strength could wane quickly. She walks around the house using a walker, with someone always at her side in case she stumbles. She needs help with nearly every task, no matter how simple. 

These days she spends a great deal of time with her Bible in her lap and her journal close at hand. She still writes little notes about each day's happenings. And she reads. And reads. 

There is no way of knowing how long the journey will last for her. But I know she is ready for that final passage into eternity. She has spent her lifetime in pursuit of Jesus. 

A wee update

Somehow it's just nice to be with Mom. Mom understands things. Mom loves you and loves when you come home. Mom feeds you comfort food. Nuff said. 

Dad and Daniel left for Hicksville, Ohio at around 6 this morning in order to make the 9 am start of Minister's Fellowship (the annual pastor's conference of Conservative Mennonite Conference). The children were rather bummed to have missed saying goodbye at that early hour. He did sneak in to kiss them all goodbye, it's just that they didn't realize it. They were all still sleeping of course. 

It was a full day. We had school this morning. Sophia even read a chapter of "Owl at Home" to Great Grandma Showalter. Nana kept two active little boys entertained while I read aloud to the girls (and Great Grandma, who also adores read aloud stories). We're half way through "The White Stallions of Lippiza" and I always hear, "Just one more chapter, please, Mama!"

The boys napped after lunch. Emmy finished up multiplication flashcards. We went to the neighbors to visit their 4 new puppies. Tobin held a shivering puppy and then said, "Oh, that makes my heart tickle!" 

We had a wonderful supper of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, applesauce, jello and fruit salad, and Great Grandma's raisin filled cookies. Shaun, the neighbor boy and puppy owner, came to play after supper, bringing a huge bin of Legos with him. 

Somewhere along in there we managed to fit in several baths in Nana's big soaking tub. One daughter sank into the bubbles and proclaimed, "This is paradise!" When it came time for the boys to have their turn Tristen very carefully blew out all the candles we'd lit around the tub. This two year old has no sense of ambiance. Yet. 

And we finished the evening off with a traditional Showalter snack of graham crackers and milk. With the crackers being dipped in the milk of course. It's tradition. But as one of the children said so truly, "It's just not the same without Grandpa here."

So there you have it. It's been a day. A good day. From a good God. 

Showalter Christmas

After spending Christmas Day with the Hobbits in Pennsylvania, we traveled to Ohio. Road trips with 5 children ages 9 to 2 are always interesting and long. It really doesn't matter how far you have to travel. "Will we be there soon?" "Can we watch a movie on the computer now?" "I'm hungry!!!!" "I have to go to the bathroom!" "Me too! Really bad!!" "Can we listen to Narnia?" "Everybody be quiet. Tristen just went to sleep." "How far is it to Nana's house?" 

But once we're there, we discover that it was quite worth it. What a marvelous time with family! Enjoy the photos. I'll post my deep thoughts later. . . 

Elsa with new hiking boots from Nana!

And here is THE gift of the season for the boys. Kevin and Keith thought it was time to introduce the nephews to the world of men. I only wish I had Tobins greatest crash on video. Nothing broken, just a good scare for a boy who thought he was invincible.

We had a fantastic afternoon of ice skating while in Ohio. Nana stayed home with Grandpa and Grandma Showalter and a very tired Tristen. Here is Emelyne. 

Auntie Kris and Elsa skated together a bunch. . . and Sophia too. But we didn't get any good photos of Sophia on the ice! :o(

Tobin started out needing lots of help. But several hours later he was skating by himself!

A very happy skater!!

Papa, Tobin and Tristen watched youtube videos of monster trucks while the rest of us played dominoes! There were moments when the dominoes players paused to see what all the "wows" were about at that end of the table. 

These pictures have to be some of my favorites from Christmas. Tristen was showing Great-grandma Showalter how to do "here's the church, here's the steeple". 

Grandma acted a little confused and wasn't quite sure what Tristen was doing. I'm sure Grandma doesn't remember their little interchange, and years from now I'm not sure Tristen will either, but watching the interaction between the very old and the very young was special to me. 

Christmas clean-up and tear-down after we arrived home from Ohio. 

Sophia was thrilled to find a new use for Christmas ornaments. :o)

So we're left with precious memories of another Christmas past. I wonder if we'll celebrate Christmas in the new earth. . .