looking around

One year ago my sister and I met and secretively made our way westward to Ohio. Along the way we called Mom from Kris’s phone. Via speakerphone we began taking turns talking to her. At first she couldn’t figure out why she was hearing both of our voices and was a little confused. Why were we together when we live 3 hours apart? Finally we told her we were on our way to her house to celebrate Mother’s Day and her 65th birthday which, last year, fell on the same day. She was delighted!

Mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago and last April discovered that it had metastasized. Because of the cancer in her chest cavity there was fluid buildup on her lungs and breathing was difficult at times. Since these birthday-Mother’s Days only come every few years, we wanted to make sure we didn’t miss our opportunity to celebrate with Mom. And in another year, well, we just didn’t know if Mom would be here. 

Turns out we were right. 2012 was our last year to celebrate with Mom. Nineteen days before Mother’s Day and 20 days before her 66th birthday, Jesus came and ushered Mom into the Next Kingdom. 

So Mother’s Day this year feels just a little strange. Mom isn’t here to love on or send flowers to or even call. Although I did have a dream last night that I could still text her. It was pretty cool. She even texted back. From Heaven. Then I woke up. 

I’m already planning ahead for Mother’s Day this year. I have several good cries already scheduled. Cause I know it will happen. There’s just an empty place when I think about Mom. 

In reality, I feel a little cheated. To my way of thinking, sixty-five was way too young to die. She should still be here. For Dad. For her kids. For her grandchildren. For the women who loved her listening ear and who needed her wisdom. 

But then I remember the evening I was praying for her several months ago. My spirit was crying out to Jesus on her behalf. I began, “Jesus, if you don’t come and heal Mom. . .” Immediately David’s words came: Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. 

And then this thought from the heart of God: He wants my Mama. 

Please don’t hear that lightly. Hear it with intensity. He WANTS my Mama. God deeply desires her. He wants her in His kingdom. 

It was on that night that I knew I needn’t ask for her healing in this lifetime. I knew that God Himself wanted her. Intensely. And so I began asking God, with tears, that His timing would be perfect for her homegoing. 

And He answered so beautifully. She ran to meet Him in her sleep, just like she’d asked Dad to pray for. For her, the Next Kingdom is reality. 

So this Mother’s Day, in between my scheduled cries, I’ll be looking around and forward. Cause I’m a mother too. And Mom wouldn’t want me to cry too much. She’d want me to celebrate motherhood. My own motherhood. The motherhood of the women I love. My daughters. 

Thursday afternoon my girls treated me (and themselves!) to pedicures!! We’ve done things like this with my mom and sister and in other configurations with friends, but never before just us four. It was fun and beautifying and together. I’m choosing to look around. 

When we got home we all went for a walk together and then decided to have an impromptu tea. Fresh sprigs of spearmint tea and bags of rose tea. Papaya. Lemon cake in tiny slices. Cucumber sandwiches. Apple and pear slices. 

We talked. We laughed. We sipped tea. We just enjoyed together. 

As we sat and sipped I suddenly began to really see the dishes in front of me. A white embossed teapot from sister many Christmases ago. Tea cups and saucers, once my grandmothers, given to me by my own mother. A pink plate with a daisy and “Life is good” from my friend Heidi. A simple white plate from Danelle. Delicate Belleek china cream and sugar bowl covered with tiny springs of green clover, carried home from Ireland for me with love from Esther, one of my other sisters. Another white teapot, a gift to Elsa from Nana. 

Dishes that remind me of women I love. Some here, others already in the Next Kingdom. My heart was warm. My eyes were wet. It was a little looking back and a lot looking around and forward. 

Yes, on Mother’s Day I’ll probably look back a little. I won’t be able to keep from it. But mostly I want to look around and forward. 

I want to mostly just look around. I’ll see the man I sometimes call Hobbit: strong, caring, adventurous, loving me so well. I’ll see three ladies: the one who loves to be busy constantly and whose sketches amaze, the one who cares for all things hurting and marches to her own drumbeat, the one who is my shadow some days and other days has to be called away from her books. I’ll see two boys: the one we call the Energizer Bunny who hunts and the one we call Farmer who helps load pigs. This is what is around. And it’s full of goodness and love. 

It’s ok if you look back a little this Mother’s Day, but don’t forget to also look around. Do a lot of looking around. And linger a little. Soak a little. It’s good. 

about girls

It's been so long since I've posted pictures that I forgot how irritating it is that blogger uploads the pictures in exactly the opposite order in which you select them. Nuts. I could complain loudly, but I really don't think anyone would listen.

Our girl's tea time has been seriously falling by the wayside. Daughter 1 wrote me a very sweet note asking if we could have tea again soon. One night while Papa Hobbit was at EMT class, and two smallish Hobbit boys were too tired to stay awake, we girls had tea.

the spread :o)

As you can see, the girls were already in their PJs, so the affair wasn't a particularly elegant one as far as clothing goes, but I'd baked some special bread, and we lit as many candles as we could find so we could turn the lights off and it all came off wonderfully. They love the attention and the chance to just talk girl talk. I usually have a little bit to share (I've been using the study guide for "The princess and the kiss") and then they ask questions and we pray together.

One of the great events of the summer was the baptism of daughter 1 and daughter 2. They were so very excited! Papa Hobbit enjoyed the privilege explaining the whys and wherefores of baptism as their papa and also as their pastor. We've been watching them grow in their maturity as followers of Jesus and are excited to answer questions as they explore the Scriptures for themselves.

And so ends this little post. . . about girls. Hopefully back sooner rather than later.

Tea for two

Elsa got this sweet, teeny tea set for Christmas. And she wanted so badly for someone to join her for tea. The only one who agreed was Tobin. 

Boys can have tea too.

They don't show up very well here, but that's a male and female cardinal sitting in the pine tree outside my kitchen window. 

A tea for girls

So, in between supervising two girls making bread (8 loaves total), chatting online with my sister in Alaska, answering the phone, downloading pictures, chasing three younger children to the great outdoors to play. . . I'm blogging. 

One of the dear ladies from church invited the girls and me for tea. She also invited Carol and Becky Kauffman. Becky is just a year older than Emelyne and a good friend to all the girls.

Brenda was our hostess. She created a tea with several courses. We began with chilled strawberry soup and crispy dainties she'd make from bread and flour tortillas. Then we moved on to wee sandwiches and veggies and layered jello salad. The meal finished off with 4 different kinds of scones, Devonshire cream, strawberry and lemon curd, shortbread and of course, tea. Choices for tea were Mint Medley or Constant Comment. 

When we arrived Brenda had the girls draw numbers. Whoever chose #1  got first pick of Brenda's hats to wear for tea. 

We had a lovely time!! 

Sophia clowning around after tea

Elsa took her own hat, one Esther wore in a cousin's wedding several years ago. 

Brenda serving Sophia. . .

Emelyne loves to pose for pictures!!

The other Carol.  And yes, it was highly confusing to have two Carols there! 

Second course goodies!!

Becky with a hat to match her dress.

Somehow, girls and tea just go together. 

Favorite photos of April. . . and May

Here is Sophia with a perfect marshmallow. We love fireside suppers. 

A sweet friend from church stopped by as we were finishing our first fireside picnic of the year. As we sat there shivering I had to ask, "Whose crazy idea was it to eat outside anyway?" It was mine. (This one's for you Alice.)

Not staged. Emmy was folding laundry and also trying to read a book. She propped it open with her feet. 

Another tea time, only it was lemonade this time. 

Remember that orange marker I mentioned? See the previous post.

I was chopping onions and Tob's eyes were burning so he needed goggles. 

My lovely chocolate mousse, created by my sweet sister-in-law Esther for my birthday. She and my friend Jules planned a party for me in a "Life is Good" theme. Check out Jake and his goodies HERE. 

And then a most delightful visit from my dear friend Angie. How fun to remember the "good ole' days". I'm so grateful for the friends God has given me: the ones from long ago and the ones who have only recently become friends. 

Movie night trivia: Guess who had a nap and who didn't. 

Elsa at a very cold picnic in our back yard.

These guys LOVE each other!! Most of the time. 

Tristen could have stood by the reservoir for hours just throwing rocks in the water. 

The kids enjoyed the pond at Mom and Dad's house. No, I didn't let them go swimming. It was just too cold. They were wishing. . . 

In April we attended IHC in Dayton and then spent two days at Mom and Dad's house near Columbus, Ohio. Daniel attended a prayer conference. The kids and I enjoyed being with Grandpa and Nana. And playing outside. The girls helped Mom plant strawberries, onions, and a few other things. 

Papa and Tristen come down the stairs this way often. 

Breakfast for a two year old

It's a chilly day at our house.

I asked Tristen if he'd like hot tea for breakfast. He smiled and looked at me with those big blue eyes of his and said, "Chocolate cake!"

Not too surprised really. I'm married to a man who loves dark chocolate. Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Tea with Great-Grandma and Nana

Tea time with my girls usually happens once a week. And since we were in Ohio this week, we enjoyed Turkish Tea using Mom's authentic Turkish Tea set she bought in Turkey in 1988. (Was that too much Turkey in one sentence?)

Mom served cinnamon tea from her beautiful china teapot, and we dropped cinnamon red hots in our cups to intensify the flavor. 

Great Grandma Showalter surrounded by Elsa, Emelyne, Carol and Sophia after tea time. 

Tea time was hosted by Mom (or Nana, depending on who you are). 

I asked Grandma if she had any words of wisdom to share with my girls. Here is what she said:

"First of all, obey your parents. Also read your Bible. Get to know Jesus."

It was special. Grandma is holding her own right now, but in her mid-eighties, her strength could wane quickly. She walks around the house using a walker, with someone always at her side in case she stumbles. She needs help with nearly every task, no matter how simple. 

These days she spends a great deal of time with her Bible in her lap and her journal close at hand. She still writes little notes about each day's happenings. And she reads. And reads. 

There is no way of knowing how long the journey will last for her. But I know she is ready for that final passage into eternity. She has spent her lifetime in pursuit of Jesus. 

Just a basic update. . .

I decided to post a few photos from the last several days. We finally had a little snow! These first two pictures are taken from our front porch. The clouds and snow squall in the distance are actually covering Jack's Mountain across the valley from us. We love the view! But more than the view outside, we love the views of what God is doing among us. . . 

Two little boys eating apples on the kitchen floor.

This very staged picture was thought up by the sisters!

The girls and I had tea again yesterday. They did this arranging themselves. Sweet apple chamomile tea in a teapot from Kris. A pretty yellow candle from Jules. A white gerbera daisy from Angie. 

We used little napkins in the shape of pansies. I explained that many flowers have a special meaning and pansies stand for "thoughts". We talked about thoughts we may have that no one knows about or that would embarrass us horribly if anyone could see them. We talked about taking thoughts captive and rejecting thoughts that don't line up with Scripture or the character of God. I reminded them that God knows our thoughts and imaginations. 

How thankful I am for these moments with my girls! They were asking if I was going to do another girl's retreat like I'd planned and hosted the last 3 years we lived in Evart. I told them that our tea times are like mini girl's retreats. We have our own opportunity to talk about who God is, and how we should live as followers of Jesus. Tea time is girl time. 

And if I never do another girl's retreat again, I will have invested in the most important girls in my life. Who knows, maybe they will be my presenters at the next retreat. 

Wow. I love mentoring.